Have you recently asked yourself “why me?” or “why do bad things keep happening in my life?” Perhaps it is the opposite. Maybe good things are happening in your life yet you feel you don’t deserve them. Are you waiting for the bubble to burst? The tides to turn?
Do some people really just attract bad luck and others good? Do we really control our own destiny?
When we have a strongly held belief about ourselves it is what we call our “Life Script”, it is the script we have grown up with, it is the script we have lived by and it is hard to rewrite that script, but certainly not impossible! When we believe we must live a certain way it is hard to convince us that any other way could be better. We have a set of core beliefs about who we are, and about the world we live in. But this doesn’t always mean that what we are doing is the best thing for us.
Life changes, circumstances change, people grow and change all around us, yet we have a natural tendency to try and stay the same, to hang onto the core values and ideas we have always had.
It is like trying to hang onto an outfit we wore when we were 8 years old, our body has changed, and it will no longer fit no matter how hard we try! A belief we had when we were 20, may no longer fit our life when we reach 30.
If your first boyfriend cheated on you, you tend to close yourself up and not trust the next boyfriend. You may feel men can’t be trusted, or feel sick when he goes out with his mates. In turn this may lead to fights and ultimately a break up with your new boyfriend who had not only not cheated on you, but never would have!
If your boss was a straight down the line kind of boss who didn’t allow you to add your opinion or creativity, you may find in your next job you are reluctant to offer your input at all. In turn this could lead to your new boss thinking you lack creativity and fresh ideas, and they may fire you for that.
In both these circumstances you might say “I just have the worst luck!” or “it’s so unfair, why does this always happen to me? Both my relationships have sucked and both the jobs I’ve had have turned out to be disasters!”
OK so the first boyfriend may have been the wrong guy for you and your first job wasn’t the dream job you hoped it would be! BUT the second relationship only sucked because you brought past negativity into it, and the same can be said for your second job!
Sometimes we need to stop and think. Take a moment and look at what we are bringing to the table, and look at what “life script” we are living.
If your father cheated on your mother, or left when you were little you may grow up with the life script that ‘all men are cheaters‘ or ‘all men leave‘. We develop these scripts to protect ourselves from being hurt, and that is completely normal. Sometimes these scripts help us get through difficult times. The problem is that when we no longer need them, they can go from being our protectors to our worst enemies.
There are many life scripts, here are just a few,
- I have to be a good girl or God want love me
- I am not smart enough
- I am shy and I can’t talk to people I don’t know
- I am a bad person because daddy says so
At some point in our life we may be told something or experience something that grabs hold of us and we just can’t seem to let it go. But in actual fact we don’t need this belief in our suitcase any more, maybe we never needed it!
When we have a strong self belief, when we believe something so fundamentally it becomes part of us, it becomes our life script.
We live by its rules, and it is so automatic and embedded that we aren’t often aware that we are doing it. It is like breathing or blinking, we don’t consciously tell ourselves to breathe or blink, we do it automatically. The good news is we can become concious of what we are doing, just like if you stop and think about blinking you suddenly notice that you are doing it. And if we mediate we can focus on our breath, we can change our breathing pattern simply by becoming aware of it.
So now I am asking you to stop. Breathe, and just be in this present moment. . . .
Take 3 deep breaths.
Take a moment and think about your life script. What do you believe to be true about yourself, about your world?
Just think. Just reflect.
Our thoughts are like a magnet.
When we hear things or experience things that support what we already believe we attract those thoughts to our magnet (our soul). If I believe I am not a good writer and someone comments on this post saying, “you should give up writing you suck!” And five others write, “great post keep writing”, I am going to dismiss the five and only take on board that one negative comment, because this negative comment supports and confirms what I already believe to be my truth.
If you believe you have no fashion sense and always look silly compared to the other woman you know, and someone says “wow I love your style, that outfit is amazing.” Your unconscious reaction will be “yeah right, of course I don’t look good she is just being polite, or teasing me.”
It is the same if you believe all men are bastards, or no marriages last. Every time you hear a story of a man cheating, abusing or being cold to his wife you add that to your bag and say to yourself “see I knew it”. And if you hear someone say “I have been happily married for 20 years’, you say “well you’re the exception!” Or “she is obviously lying they can’t be that happy, who is?”
You may not have been aware that you were doing this, but the minute you can realise that you are you have the power to change it! Just like blinking or breathing you can change the pattern by becoming aware of it. You have more power than you believe.
The way you think dictates the way you behave.
This is great news, this means you have the power, you already have everything you need to change the negative things in your life! Instead of when bad things happen saying “oh of course that happened to me I deserve it.” Or “bad things always happen to me!” Start attracting positive thinking to you magnet! If you hang on to negative thoughts you will always dismiss the positive, it is time to change that, it is time to reject the negative thoughts you are telling yourself.
Next time someone pays you a compliment tell yourself it is OK to accept it!
It is OK to start believing you are a good person and that you have the right to happiness. The more you start to believe that, the more you will start to notice the good people and things that surround you. Notice that person who gives you that friendly smile. Accept that people stop and say hi not just to be polite, but because they like you. If your boss says ‘job well done‘ accept that you did a great job! If someone says they think you are great, then believe them! You are great and you do deserve great things.
Yes things in life don’t always go the way we hoped, and sometimes people are mean, but that is not a reflection on you. If someone cheats on you then that is on them! If someone yells at you it might be that they are having a bad day and not have anything to do with you. Don’t focus on their negativity, don’t let mean people put your light out!
Next time something bad happens, learn from it and then move on, don’t get stuck with a life script you don’t need. Clear away the negative luggage that has been dragging you down, it is time to fill your suitcase with positivity and self belief. It is truly your time to glow. Let your inner you shine, believe you deserve love, happiness and light. It is up to you to make this change, it is up to you to start attracting goodness into your life.
Be your own truth and let your inner light shine!
Thanks for joining me, love Mackenzie xx
For more inspiration by mg click on the links below.
If you are suffering stress you may find Let it go helpful.
Feel like you are ready to make a positive change in your life, my personal challenges can help! Feel free to email me to find out how else I can help you improve your life! Mac@reflectionsfromme.com Just include “Challenge me!” in your subject line.